Version 2.0

It has been one month since I've turned 20. The big 2.  Truth to be told,just like the previous years 17,18,19 I don't feel anything much about it. Except for one difference.

I felt like my life was worth celebrating. For the first time in my 19 years of living, breathing and being an occupant of space, I felt like I have something really worth living for. I've never been more certain about what I want to do in life and that even as I sit here typing feeling burdened and slightly moody while sleep eludes me, I do feel happy that I've found meaning in my life.

I'm sitting in this shell, a shell that will bear the scars of age and time, but the contents of the shell it's infinite.

Our minds, our thoughts it's infinite. Time won't scar our minds unlike the harsh marks it would eventually leave on our bodies. At the risk of sounding fucking cliche, time is like a mentor in everybody's lives it heals, it removes the veil of ignorance that youth has wrapped tightly around our eyes.

It is pretty funny how our troubles in the past seem trivial and insignificant, as compared to the troubles in the present, and eventually our troubles in the present would cease to bother us anymore and would instead be replaced by whatever problems we will face in the future.

Everything is changing every minute, every second. Nothing is ever the same at any two moments. One thing that I've noticed the past year, I can feel myself changing every single day. The 'Me' last week, and the 'Me' this week feels like two different people.

Maybe it's youth talking, maybe it's the incoherent gibberish sprouting me at 4.15AM talking, but right now I feel like my mind it's a malleable blob of flesh, I can be whatever and whoever the fuck I want to be.

Nothing is really impossible nowadays, there are gay penguins, piano playing cats,a gorilla who knows sign language. Sometimes I feel like nothing can surprise me anymore, but of course I would have to take my words back eventually. The world can be such a fucking weird place sometimes.

This is a brief conversation that happened between me and a lost sobbing boy at Ikea quite some time back, before I sold him for a thousand bucks to some child trafficker hiding behind the sofa.

Me: Hey are you lost?

Sobbing boy: No I'm not lost, my parents are lost.

Then right before leaving, I saw a little boy squeeze a huge dollop of chili on his ice cream. What a night.

In your womb

Tuition Kid: Why are so many sperms needed if there's only 1 egg?

Me: Because it's like playing hide and seek in a gigantic building, with only 1 hider, that's why you need so many seekers.

Work in progress

How I spent my Sunday Night.

Virgin experience

Today, I chipped my tooth pretty badly. God knows why I was chewing with a fork in my mouth. I ended up ingesting part of my tooth along with a mouthful of duck.

Surprisingly, I did not feel any sadness I would have expected myself to feel considering the fact that the alignment of my teeth is probably the most aesthetically pleasant feature on me.

I felt rather amused by this whole unfortunate incident. I remember running my tongue along the jagged edges, feeling the slight dent in my tooth, the aftermath of a clash between enamel and steel.

I mean hey there are only so many firsts that can happen to your body after you stop being a kid . Afterall the firsts is always the most exciting (that's what she said).

When you were a kid losing your first tooth was probably the most tantalizing yet scary experience ever, you rocking your tooth back and forth, back and forth amidst boring maths lessons. By the time it's time for the second tooth, you're probably still a little excited but not as much as the first time.

Subsequently, you'll be like I'm a pro at this and proceed to pluck your tooth loosely embedded in your gum with your bare fingers.

Ironically as you grow older the amounts of firsts starts increasing again proportionally to your age ( think first colonoscopy, first gynecologist , first sign of high cholesterol ) you get my gist.

For now I shall embrace a 'first' that happened to me, and try not to be such a hazard to myself again.

阿猫

Daria

Drawn on a late Wednesday night.